Essay by Matthew Dempsey, Louisville, Kentucky

2nd place National 2004

Week of Secrets

Monday: He walks late into school. Breathing hard and with a little sweat beading on his forehead. He is running to make it before the bell but he is too late. Now there will be detention after school today. He walks into the hall and drops his books. His homework scatters across the old tile floor. He is having a bad day.

After detention, he goes home. His parents are fighting again. He tries to do his homework but he can’t concentrate with the sobs of his mother and the shouts from his dad. With his homework uncompleted, he goes to bed but he does not get enough sleep because his four-month old brother will not quit crying.

Life is too hard.

Tuesday: Before he leaves for school, his parents start to fight. He is exhausted from his lack of sleep. He rushes to complete his homework on the bus. An older kid ridicules him for his old shoes, which are busting at the seams. He comes into class and sits down. He gets back his English test from last week. He failed. He puts the test away and takes a short nap at his desk. He goes home at the end of the day and sleeps.

This is the worst week of his life.

Wednesday: At school, Lucy (the girl he had told he liked) enlightens the whole class and embarrasses him. He has no lunch that day because his mother hadn’t given him any money. It doesn’t matter. He has no one to sit with anyways. He comes home from school and his parents aren’t there. He takes care of his brother for the rest of the night.

He hates his life.

Thursday: He goes to school and finds one of his few friends who has talked with only a couple of times. He confides in him about his horrific past days and how he does not think he can handle his live anymore.

He goes home and finds his mom in tears. His father has left them.

He hates the thought of living another day.

Friday: At school he is confronted by his friend. “About what you said the other day, are you really thinking about killing yourself?’
He tries to laugh it away. He says he would never go through with it. He tells his friend not to tell anyone about what he had said the day before. He goes home and thinks about the past week.

Living is not really an option.

Saturday: He pulls out the loaded pistol that his father had left in the house. He shoves it into his mouth.

Sunday: He lies in the hospital bed in a vegetative state. He never realizes that his mother and little brother cry as the life support is cut off.

Five years later: His brother is a five-year old with no older brother as his only male role model. His mother never gets over his suicide. She will always wonder what great things he might have done. She wishes that had warned her about her son’s deep depression. She wishes that he were still alive.

Today: What if you were his friend? What would you have done?

If you had seen how your help could have saved your friend’s life, would you tell his secret?